Monster Manners

by Daniel Errico

 When it comes to monsters, there are some secrets that you probably haven’t heard. For example, did you know that they like to get their picture taken, eat books, and dance the cha-cha-cha? Once you get to know them better, you might find that monsters aren’t so scary after all. This rhyming tale is a whimsical guide to being friends with monsters, but we wouldn’t recommend acting like one!

In terms of monster etiquette,

A manners guide is hard to get.

I’ve walked the grandest monster halls

And rummaged through their monster malls.

I’ve learned, in time, their tricks and rules,

Those brooding blargs and slimy ghouls.

They don’t shake hands, they wiggle tails.

They’re far too scared of breaking nails.

They cry a lot and blow their noses.

Cameras make them strike their poses.

Their birthday balls are legendary.

Hairy gifts are customary.

They don’t eat cake, it’s far too sweet.

They much prefer a book to eat.

If ever you should have the chance.

I must insist you watch one dance.

They stomp their feet and La-La-La.

And sometimes learn to Cha-Cha-Cha.

A monster’s home is hard to find.

They’re made of branches, mud, and vine.

They’re masterful in snowball fights.

 They’ll wait to hit you day or night.

I promise, you will too, defend,

How monster’s make a mighty friend.

What you’ve heard might be contrary.

Trust me, monsters: they’re not scary.