Chapter Four: The Amazing Warp-Port Challenge
“Don’t worry, you’re not sick. I’m going to get you out of here,” assured Tarza in a whisper.
Without saying another word, she rushed Jackson through one narrow hall after the other. Whenever she heard someone coming, she made them change course. Finally, just as Jackson was getting a little winded from the rushing, they came to a blue-lit room and stepped inside. Jackson saw that it had a control station and a large window facing out into space. Tarza shut the door and turned a knob on the wall until the door turned yellow.
“There. That should give us some privacy,” she said in relief.
“Why did it turn yellow?” Jackson asked.
“It means someone inside is doing accounting,” she answered. “A red door means ‘Do Not Disturb’, but Byzongs tend to eavesdrop on red doors. They think something interesting must be going on inside. No one sits outside a yellow door.”
Jackson nodded.
Tarza approached him with an intense curiosity.
“Why is it,” she asked, “that you haven’t tried to run from me or ask me any questions yet?”
“I asked about the door,” he corrected.
“That’s not what I mean. You know now that I lied to the guards about who I was and where I’m taking you, and yet you haven’t tried to figure out who I am and where I’m taking you.”
“I have a policy on circumstances such as these,” he explained.
“What kind of policy?” she asked.
“Well… if I find myself confused, then I do nothing. Statistically, it’s smarter and safer to do nothing.”
“Anytime you’re confused?” she asked with a cocked eyebrow.
“Yes.”
“You do absolutely nothing?”
“Yes.”
“That’s ridiculous,” stated Tarza.
“I don’t think it is,” he retorted.
“Imagine if the whole universe followed your silly rule. If kids just stopped doing anything every time they got confused. They’d never learn a thing! Imagine if captains stopped giving orders anytime something new and strange happened…”
Jackson went to open his mouth but stopped.
“…Imagine if all the greatest thinkers, from all the planets in the universe just stopped doing things whenever they came across a confusing problem.” she ended.
At first Jackson felt taken aback. Then he decided this may be considered an affront. And then he wondered why there was no such thing as ‘amiddle’, but let it go as quickly as it came, for the aside that it was.
“I see your point,’ said Jackson.
“Then we’re agreed. As President of Earth you should end this policy of yours immediately,” she answered.
Jackson nodded, which made Tarza smile.
“Yes,” he answered. “Except I’m not President of Earth.”
Tarza stopped smiling.
“What do you mean? Did you change your title? Ruler of Earth? Supreme Titan of Earth?” she asked.
“I’m none of those things. The President is still on her ship, and I’m not her.” he answered.
“But…” Tarza looked down shaking her head. “How is that possible? They’ve been planning the kidnapping for so long.”
“Perhaps it is time for me to ask some questions of my own. Who are you, and why is that you’re trying to save me, err, I mean the President, if the rest of the Byzongs want to kidnap me, um, her,” Jackson asked, feeling more bold than usual.
Tarza was still in shock but managed to form the words.
“My name is Tarza, that part is true. And I do work on this warship. But for the last four years I’ve been a member of a secret intra-planetary network of elite agents named The Pocket Watches. And right now our job is to stop this Byzong plan to take all of Earth’s water. If they succeed, the consequences will be much worse than you could possible imagine.” she said with a grave face.
“So they really want to take all of Earth’s water?? I still don’t understand how that’s even possible!”
“With a Third Generation Macro-Electro-Bionic-Hydroxy-Gravitational Tube Ray,” she said cooly. “Anything past First Generation would do the trick, honestly.”
Jackson sighed. “So, what’s your plan to get me out of here then?”
Tarza put her hand to her chin and eyed Jackson.
“Well, the plan was designed for me to get President Racha out of here. And you’re saying you’re an entirely different human than her?” she asked sincerely.
“Right. My name is Jackson.”
“Jackson,” she mirrored. “But you were on the President’s ship, weren’t you?”
He nodded. “Space Force One.”
“So are you in charge of Earth’s defenses? Does the President listen you on important matters? If we get you out of here, can you help us reach the President?” she asked.
Jackson believed strongly in the value of honesty. It is a trait that earned him the superlative “Most Honest” in his high school yearbook. That the title was meant as an insult because Jackson frequently told on classmates that he saw skipping school was not an important detail to the story when he repeated it in his interview for the role of Personal Assistant to the Non-Personal Assistant to the Executive Assistant to the President- a role that does not put him in charge of Earth’s defenses, or allow him to broach important matters with the President. And on this day, he decided the best way to honor the tile of ‘Most Honest’, regardless of its origins, while still securing his chances of rescue from the Byzong warship by the secret intra-planetary network of elite agents named The Pocket Watches, was to answer only the last of Tarza’s questions, without clarifying that he was not answering on behalf of all the questions he was just asked.
“Yes,” he said.
Tarza smiled in solace.
“Then I think the Pocket Watches will be happy to meet you. All we’ve got to do is warp-port over to them and they’ll take it from there.”
“Warp-port? What’s that? Is that like teleporting?” Jackson asked.
“Teleporting?! Teleporting isn’t even real. That’s something a child would say! Have you really never heard of warp-porting before?”
Jackson shook his head.
“What about The Amazing Warp-Port Challenge? You’re telling me you’ve never seen a single episode?” she asked.
Jackson shook his head in silence. He could have mentioned how expensive XDI Visions with Cross-Universe service are for someone in his position, but then he remembered that he did not want Tarza knowing much more, if anything at all, about his position. If he had seen The Amazing Warp-Port Challenge (new episodes available every Earth Thursday on the Nebula Channel), then he would have known it is the premiere reality series of the millennia, and that Warp-Porting is a fun way to travel great distances in mere seconds, using dimensional slingshot technology. But since he hadn’t seen it, which many would say was punishment enough, he also had to endure the judgmental glare of Tarza.
“All you need to know is that I’m getting us out of here. And just in time, too. Once they realize what I’ve done they’ll come looking for both of us.”
Tarza pulled out a small disc and handed it to Jackson.
“This is your port-pod for warping,” she explained.
“My warp-port port-pod?” he asked.
“No one calls them that,” she said.
“Now, when I say so, I want you to push the green button and initiate the sequence. Everything’s already been input for departure.”
“Got it,” said Jackson as he looked around.
Tarza pulled out her own port-pod and readied herself.
“Now you might feel a slight pinch on your ears. And a slight burning on your cheeks. And a slight severe pain in your head. But that’s all normal.” she hurriedly added.
“That sounds a bit…” Jackson started.
Tarza raised her hand to shush him. She heard footsteps down the hall approaching their door.
She turned to Jackson with a panicked look.
“Now! Push the green button now!” she shouted.
Jackson turned around and pressed a flashing green button on the control panel next to him.
Tarza’s eyes went wide. She wanted to scream at him for his mistake. For never turning over his disc and seeing the small green button on the other side. She wanted to chastise him for assuming she had meant for him to push a green button that was clearly part of the ship itself, instead of a button on the port-pod that he had just been handed. She wanted to tell him how angry she was that he just pushed the first flashing green button he saw. But she couldn’t get a single syllable out of her mouth before the blue-lit room was filled with a porous, white foam that froze her in place.